Don't worry, be happy!

I know, I know, you have the song stuck in your head now don't you!  Well you can thank Ben for that!  This morning as he started his sermon he played that song, and then asked who hated it... no one said they hated it... poor Ben.  Although, on reflection Ben, I am not the hugest fan of it. But I definately don't hate it. :)

As you can probably guess, he spoke about WORRY!  Yep, something that, if we are all honest, we all struggle with.  I don't think there is a single person in the world who hasn't at some point worried about something. I know people who sadly thrive on it!  I used to be one of them.

Ben got up and this morning and publicly admitted that he was a "Worryholic" (maybe that should be ex-worryholic!)  I would have to agree that I too, used to be a complete worryholic!  Being a worryholic is completely exhausting and draining.  It does crazy things to your head, your heart and well, pretty much your whole life.  You second guess everything you say, do and at the end of the day when you need to sleep, it turns you into an insomniac!  Yes, Ben, I can totally relate to the "rollercoasters" in your head at night.

The year I turned 21 was the year that worry and I finally came to massive blows.  This was a year that should have been great for me.  However, when I refer to the year I turned 21, you will hear limited things from that year. This was the year I did a Youth Ministry Internship, the year I had THE worst boyfriend ever, the year I first found myself in couselling and the year I got a tattoo.  In short, the WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE!  However, there is one story that I do tell often and that is the story of the one bible verse that is totally ingrained in my head and heart!

Phillippians 4:6 -Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I would worry myself to sleep at night, to the point where I got insomnia at times.  I was anxious about everything, from thinking "Would my placement supervisor belittle me in front of other teachers or students tomorrow?", to replaying the conversation with my boyfriend over and over and trying to work out the part that I said something wrong to make him yell at me, to wondering if the sermon I had to do in front of the others in my course was going to be any good.  The further I got into the year the more I had to give things over to God in EVERY situation that I worried about or was anxious about.  The end result, I managed to finish my course, passing everything, and get a job far away from previously mentioned boyfriend and placement supervisor!  Oh, and I managed to never ever worry again... AS IF!!!

I really wish that was the end of the story with me and worry.  However, like any thing of our flesh it comes back and you need to fight it all the time.  I realised just this past week that I don't deal well with anxiety/worry anymore, where once I used to embrace it and wallow in it now it does things to me like make me panic and get really emotional and I HATE it!!!  This past week I found myself in a position where I realised I had stored up a heap of things to worry about and they hit me all at once.  Guess what I did?

I literally said out loud, "I can't handle this anymore!" and went to my room and journalled and let it all out to God.  This isn't always my natural reaction but it is becoming more normal for me thankfully.  

Here is a song I learnt years ago, sung here by the Watoto Children's Choir, that I still like to sing in worrying times...